Fast Foodies

… while the reviewers were kinda sauced. GET IIIIIIT

I mean, the obvious answer is WENDY (at least for the Straight Dudes Camp), but I like to consider all my options.

Get your insulin shots ready — it’s time to review the McDonald’s Frozen Strawberry Lemonade. The brain freeze is pretty intense, you guys.

I’m not a salad person, guys. I’m not even a VEGETABLE person. But in my quest to diversify my fast foodie palate, I’m going on a crusade to eat fast food salads until I die from a creamy-ranch induced coronary. Besides, I am definitely a Paul Newman person.

They’re trying to ban Happy Meal toys in NYC. Stand against this blasphemy with me! Because, I mean … Happy Meal toys really ain’t that great. (TEENY BEANIES NOT INCLUDED IN THAT ASSESSMENT)

Fact: McDonald’s now offers weddings. Only in Hong Kong. AMERICA, STEP UP YOUR GAME.

Steak ‘n Shake is a valiant attempt at a diner, but like so many things in the Midwest, it just falls a liiiiiiittle short.

Subway has overtaken McDonald’s in sheer store quantity. Fast Foodies has a bone to pick about that.

We’ve got a hunger for fish sandwiches, and mortality on the mind.

our hero.